Be Willing to Keep Showing Up
Sitting in the chair on the edge of the newscast set a couple of weeks ago, watching the kids handle the early morning news, I couldn't help but reflect on my journey.
The two morning news anchors sat behind their desk watching the young weatherman
handle the day's forecast. He was young, nervous, full of awkward pauses. And he looke
d like he was having a blast.
There is something to be said about being ignorant and pushing forward anyway. I would have loved to have that kind of enthusiasm as a young adult. The ability to move forward regardless of inexperience and naivety. When I was young, I had talent but lacked confidence and self-esteem. Both killers of success.
As I stumbled through life, learning to meet challenges (or as an old boss called them, "opportunities"), I didn't understand that my mind was storing everything up. Learning. Cataloguing. Prioritizing. Filing away for later use.
Now I am confident. Full of esteem. I don't give a flying leap what you think about me. I like me. I like what I stand for.
Don't get me wrong. I have the esteem now and the confidence to write what I want. As long as I like it, I know others will too. It doesn't matter if everyone likes it. I am not writing for everyone. I am writing for those who want to step aside, take a break, and escape for a few hours. If I can do that for readers with my made-up words, that is a win.
Sorry, not sorry for the cussing. It is necessary. The F-bomb brings authority and passion. "Geez Louise" sounds like a weasely politician. I said "Geez" a couple of times out of habit with a recent lady friend and I thought she would split her gut laughing.
There is no middle ground. You either speak with conviction or you don't.
Why does it take some of us so long to figure this out? And why do others, like the weatherman, just say fuck it and do it anyway, regardless of how good they are?
Life experience has been monumental in my novel writing. Self-esteem especially. I can hide behind any doubts I used to have, throwing out words as if I am a seasoned veteran. Six novels in and working on my seventh, I guess I am figuring it out.
But here's what I know now that the weatherman will eventually learn: you don't have to be perfect to be worth listening to. You just have to show up. You just have to care enough to try. You just have to embrace the fail. You just have to be willing to get back up and try again. Grit!
The young weatherman reminded me of that. Sometimes we need to watch someone else fumble forward with confidence to remember why we started in the first place.
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